I couldn't sleep so I sat in the tub dreaming my life away. 2 thoughts came to mind.
It's about changing your mind and your attitude.
First pretend. As you pretend -the attitude gets easier - more natural. As it becomes more and more natural - that process changes your heart and your mind and it becomes real. I think that as I have practiced this pattern of thinking I have been able to change my life and the way people react to me or behave around me.
The second thought was on my own parenting. How I need to connect with my children rather than react to them. I need to help them understand their feelings and let them know I understand them. I need to disconnect from my world when I am around my children and totally be with them in the moment. Which means I need to put aside some of my computer time and stop playing with my camera and have the children work with me to keep the house clean.
I was daydreaming about my dream house and walking through the rooms and picking out art to hang on the walls... I really love living in my dream house.... when the thought occured to me that if I did have my dream house my children would only live in it with me for the next 15 years. 15 years! That is not long at all. If I want to prepare my children for their future I've got a lot of work to do. And education is only part of it. Are my children honest? Do my children know how to treat others with respect? Can they work out their own problems and be independant? Do they fear the world or see it as a big opportunity? Do they dream about goals and things they want to do? Are they creating healthy eating habits and making exercise an important part of their thinking and lifestyle? Do they know how to clean and take care of themselves? Can they mend their clothes or cook or even garden? There's a saying that it takes a whole village to raise a child. But what good can that be if they do not have the influence of a mother? A father? Immediatly that makes my marriage a priority. A strong foundation to raise my children upon.
I think we are losing communication skills - we text - we email - we blog- we facebook - we twitter.... Good old fashioned talking to one another and spending time and having heart to heart feelings with each other are being lost to cyber space. I'm just a mom. I'm not professional or intelligent and I won't even make a dent in this world but if I can be remembered after I'm gone for doting on my children and loving and playing with them and helping them have the best experience in their life - I'll spend the rest of my life doing just that. Which reminds me of a song I used to love as a child - Some people think Mormons indoctern their children with such songs and if I was...I am so glad because I truly think that is what brings me such happiness in this world. Being a mom isn't for everyone - but to me it is everything.
Original release of the song, "I Want to Be a Mother", sung by Marie-Adele Black on the album SONGS FOR A MORMON CHILD.
Written by Janeen Jacobs Brady
When I grow up I want to be a mother
And have a family.
One little, two little, three little babies of my own.
Of all the jobs, for me I'll choose no other.
I'll have a family.
Four little, five little, six little babies in my home.
And I will love them all day long
And give them cookies and milk and yellow balloons
And cuddle them when things go wrong
And read them stories and sing them pretty tunes.
When I grow up, if I can be a mother
How happy I will be.
One little, two little, three little babies I can love.
And you will say each sister and each brother
All look a lot like me.
Four little, five little, six little blessings from above.
Here's a cheesy video but at least you can hear what the song sounds like: