I didn't get a handbook...

I am so intrigued by love and logic that I went to my library and checked out 4 items. The rest I will have to place on hold from another library.

I started taking a parenting class a few weeks ago. I liked it. So then I started watching a bunch of you.tube. videos from the authors. I loved the videos. So then I thought I would buy their material - but why buy when you can loan them from the library? In the 4 items I picked up was an audio on cassette called Hormones and Wheels. Sure my kids are under 8 but they will be turning preteen sooner than I'd like. I have listened to them over and over the past 3 days. I take them in the car...I listen while doing housework. I listen when I go to bed.

I've had several chances to use love and logic on my kids. One that stands out to me right now is when my 5 yr old stole food from the fridge.

It was lunchtime. We made cheese quesadilla's. My five yr old daughter loves these. She wanted another one but I told her if she was still hungry she needed to eat her applesauce - OR she could have a banana or peaches or pears. She choose not to have any. Lunch is over and I catch her trying to make another cheese taco... I put the food away and tell her lunch is over. I am now on the computer checking my messages and my 5 yr old sneaks into the fridge and takes a taco shell and eats it. I finish my computer and when she comes up to me I say to her...I noticed that a taco shell is gone. That is so Sad. I don't know what your consequence is going to be but I will talk to Daddy and he and I will figure something out. I don't want you to worry about it so I will get back to you later. She throws herself on the floor and just lays there. Doesn't scream. Doesn't throw a fit. She is busy thinking.

I don't know what I should do - I haven't covered this part in Love and Logic so I called their 1-800 hotline. I explain my situation. That I am new and love the program but that I wasn't sure how to handle stealing. The lady on the phone suggests that I try the Energy Drain.

I will approach my daughter and I will say....When you steal food from the fridge after I tell you that you may not have it right now....it really drains my energy. How are you going to fill my energy back up? What can you do to replace my energy? OR What can you do to earn money to buy more taco shells - to replace the ones you took without permission? I have delayed the consequence and I am interested to see what my daughter can come up with.

The anger is gone. I catch myself every now and then - it's only been two weeks. But I feel at peace. And I can't wait to have my children misbehave so that I can turn it into a life learning lesson. I have been handling life one problem at a time and treating it as a life and death emergency. Oh no, the sky is falling down! Every thing was chaotic and upsetting but now that I have some tools I can think ahead and say - if they do this....then I will do that.... Having a plan in place is awesome! Doing it without yelling and screaming and swearing and being angry is BLISS! They say that children do not come with a hand book of how to.....but I "Swear" this Love and Logic is pretty dang close to the only handbook you will ever need.

2 comments:

Cynthia said...

I love Pw/LL. I didn't know they had a teen book. Sounds like I need to get it. I've noticed my 11 yo girl getting a bit dramatic and her twin brother as well. I think the teen years will be here before I know it. Sigh.

Jami said...

I've read the book twice and am signed up for the March class! I'm sooooo excited!!! I didn't know the library here had more material on it! I should put it on hold (since it seems it's already checked out... lol). Love it!