The squeaky wheel gets the oil

I've been writing more because I have more time. I have more time because I've learned how to communicate effectively with my children. I've been constantly thinking about the tools that Love and Logic uses. I think about my childrens behaviors and their reactions. I've been noticing more about their personalities.

And I haven't been YELLING AND SCREAMING or making empty threats and demands.

I have about 4 books that I'm reading on the subject. I have about 10 audio cd's and 3 audio cassetts that I'm constantly listening to. We were headed out somewhere and I started to pack some cd's and my daughter yells out "OH NO!" "Not that again!"

Since I'm so involved with this program I have been processing all this information and I have wondered - which child have I had to use the most love and logic on?

My first thought was the third child and middle daughter. She is constantly testing the limits and expresses her anger easily. Yes...I think she has had the most practice.

Then I think about my oldest and my only son. He has kept me on my toes since he turned one. I am surprised to realize that I have not had to do much love and logic with him. Perhaps the theory that he has been testing limits since he could crawl that he has learned the most and progressed the most.

My thoughts turned to my second child and my first daughter. She has always been the most well behaved and the most pleasant and willing to please. However, she is the one that will hold it all in and then blow up like a volcano. The few times that I have had to use the love and logic technics on her have been in extreme melt down and temper tantrum mode.

The squeaky wheel gets the oil! I heard that often growing up. That is the easy part. It's loud, it's obvious, it's right there in your face needing attention.

It's the quiet, well behaved child that I am worried about. If she is not making mistakes and learning from them while she is young the consequences from her mistakes as she gets older keeps getting higher and higher. Notice the dry chappy lips that she chews on. She is a deep thinker. She is a perfectionist. I could say she came that way - that it is who she is. I could say that it is her personality and that it is characteristic of her.

OR I could say...I now have the tools to help my daughter learn from her mistakes. Help her become responsible and let her know that I love her no matter what and that she doesn't have to be a certain way for me to love her.

Love and logic has taught me so much in so little of time. In less than a month it has changed my parenting style and my children are making choices for themselves to be responsible and they are learning from their mistakes. When I first started I felt overwhelmed and I have had to use some quick thinking. But I didn't give up and I persisted and my husband is now getting on board using these tools.

It sounds like I am trying to make a testimonial for Love and Logic but it has completely changed my life and it's all I can think about right now. Parenting has just become the most important and the most FUN priority in my life. Ha was before but it is so different now. I think I just found what I want to do for a career when the time comes. It is too great not to share!

1 comment:

Cynthia said...

Gorgeous photos! I need to get back to some L&L myself. I told my son this morning (they had the day off school) that I expected certain chores done by the time I got home. He didn't do it. I didn't follow through. Of course, I also didn't lay out the consequence. I need to re-read the book. I'm fallin' down on the job again!