Dear
Jonathon, Sarah, Alta and Valorie,
I have decided to write you
love notes every day. I feel I must
prove my love for you and give you the time and attention that you need and
deserve. It is my life’s dream to have
you and care for you. Nurture, love and
watch you grow. I didn’t understand
then, like I do now - that time would disappear so quickly and each
moment slips into the past.
Sometimes I sit and try to
recapture when you were babies and toddlers - your first day of school - all
the new things that you learned and experienced. But, it is in the past and when you focus on
the past you miss out on the moments that are happening right now. I now sit and think about your future and
what I should be preparing you for.
It’s always been a matter of
staying one step ahead. The next size
clothing. Shoes that wear out – or –
outgrown before they even get broken in.
I think of how gymnastics class, dance lessons or little league baseball
would have helped prepare you to make it on the schools team. Should I busy you with learning a new
language or debate teams? Should I stand
over you and make sure you excel at your school work?
I’ve always believed that
learning should be fun and adventurous.
Using every bit of imagination that is yours. What if I missed giving you the opportunity
to develop your talents and skills that would help you in your life’s
journey? I must say that I am very sorry
that your father and I have not had a higher education to make more money to
provide you with these extra activities. On the other hand, I hope that money is not your life’s goal.
Money itself will not bring you happiness, peace or fulfillment but it
can help you and give you an advantage to learn more and gain more
experiences. I encourage you to learn all that you can while
you are young.
I am hoping that God will be a
forgiving God and make up for what I cannot give you. I myself have had many experiences that have
helped me grow and develop in myself the values that I needed to become a good
mother with righteous desires. I pray
that you are drawn to people and things that
will add to your own interests and natural talents. I hope that you are paying attention to the
things that you like to do and make note of the things that you find hard or
difficult. God tells us that he will
make known to us our weakness and then help us make it a strength. Do not get discouraged in your trials. It will be our trials that help us overcome and
strengthen our spirits and our personalities.
Use your mistakes and trials of error as a learning tool and you will
see that it will add worth to yourself.
And now I
would like to speak to you about religion.
Every Sunday we go to church and it is hard to sit through Sacrament and
then for you to be reverent and quiet in primary. There may be people you do not
understand. You may get offended or you
may not even like your teachers. But it
is a time to set aside our own personal interests and focus on worshiping
God. We forget ourselves and we remember
God. God does not want us to forget Him
or His commandments. When we do not make
time for God we slowly forget the things that will bring us happiness. You’ve heard me say time and time again… “When I do good - I feel good. When I do bad - I feel bad.” It is a natural consequence. So what does God want us to do? He wants us to love and serve Him. He wants us to know good from evil and then
learn to love “Good” so much that we choose to love and serve God over our own
selfish desires and the natural man.
You
have been taught that the Latter Days Saints – the Church of Jesus Christ – Is
the only true church upon the earth. It
is the restored gospel that holds all the keys and principles and the fullness
of Gods plan for His children. It is
complete with Prophets and temples and sacred ordinances. Just like Joseph Smith did, I would encourage you to read and ponder the
words of God and pray that you will receive a testimony of these things. It is not my desire that you sail through
life on my testimony or anyone else’s.
There is no denying that God is the power and source of truth and light
and that he created this world and all the magnificent things in it. Every person, ever tree, flower and insect
are living things and have a spirit. If
you realize that you can worship God in every aspect of your life you will be
content and happy. If you can learn to
respect other peoples way of worshipping God and their different ways of
religion you will make many friends and walk in the spirit always. Serving others without thought of personal
gain is a golden sidewalk straight to heaven.
You will find that in serving you are feeding your own spirit.
In
conclusion, my epilogue of my love notes to you, I am ever praying for opportunities for you
to feel the Holy Ghosts spirit – Gods love for you. It will lead and guide you. Protect you.
Comfort you. Inspire and give
wings to your soul and ultimately lead your life in a way that is pleasing to
God and you will not fear the 2nd coming of our Lord and Savior
Jesus Christ. At that day it will be
well with your soul and you will be happy.
Be strong. Be courageous. Wait patiently and endure. And above all – find joy in the journey.
I love you.
Mom
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