God? Are you there?

Number 2 Spirituality

How do you define Spirituality? To some it is finding harmony and balance in their lives. To others its rest and relaxation. There is the church goers who think of spirituality as service and church attendance...some think of it as their relationship with God while to others it is a belief system. Is Spirituality Carma? What goes around comes around? Is Spirituality Luck? Or do you believe that there is a Great God that rules the earth and all the matter above it and below it?

I think it's easy to mix spirituality with rest and relaxation or even health or exercise. I feel it is a balance of everything in your life. But I want to really focus on my relationship with God for this topic.

My life was so confusing growing up. I had a devoted church going mother that totally dedicated every living minute to service and worship. On the other hand I had an abusive father that contradicted everything she was trying to teach me. When I looked at the world all I saw was what others wanted me to see. I tried to please others by doing what I thought would make them happy. Somewhere along the way I was liberated and given an opinion and stood up for my own feelings and was able to recognize how I felt.

Somewhere along the way - I was "lucky". I had a spiritual guru...the only man on earth who really could explain the mysteries of God to me - and not to mention a psychotherapist...ha ha! Perfect antidote to my situation. This guru of mine helped me sort out all of my confusion and feelings of guilt. He taught me how to pray. Really pray. Not repetitious prayer but to make a divine connection from my heart to God.

I have to admit - I would scoff at those who said they "knew God" that "Jesus was their personal savior" such everyday language of church goers.

But kneeling on the floor with no one else to hear me - I prayed until I found the words. Until I felt a change of heart. Until I felt that there was a divine presence that loved and cared about me. It was a life changing event. I keep thinking about that moment in my life.

I've had to overcome some false ideas in my head.

I used to believe I was being punished by God. That I was a bad person and nothing ever good happened to me because God knew how damaged and ugly I was inside.

I used to believe in luck and wishing on stars. I used to believe that if I combined hard work and gave it all I had that I would be successful.

I used to chase who I thought I wanted to be and ignored who I was.

I used to believe that I was unlovable. And no amount of love and affection could change that. I felt that others were trying to trick me into what they wanted from me.

I used to think that church and God were just one more trick - a way to make me live the way I should - or the way the people in church felt I should live.

This is how I gained my perspective on Spirituality. I took the bible and started looking for descriptions of God. I made a compilation of these adjectives and descriptions and started to piece together who He is. I didn't have a real father figure...I had no idea what a loving father was.... but that IS - Who He is.... A loving Father. A God with all power and knowledge and wisdom and power. How can you love God if you do not know who He is. How can you say you know that Christ is your Savior if you don't know what He taught. If you don't know what He said.

I educated myself. Took all those stories I was ever told and read them and thought about them. But I think not even the most educated man in the universe could have convinced me about God. Knowledge is certainly part of it but the final act came from the heart. Not the physical pumping blood through your body heart - I'm talking about the spirit. The spirit that takes up space in your physical body and gives it life. The spirit that is made up from matter and molecules and "divine stuff". The stuff that stars and worlds are made from.

God wants us to think about Him. He wants us to think about the Savior. He wants His children to return to Him again. What is keeping you from developing your spirituality? Is it fear? Is it uncertainty? Is it some false idea or message that someone sold you?

For me - Spirituality is thinking about God. Desiring to become like Him. Spirituality is getting rid of all the distractions and things that desensitize me from feeling His Spirit touch mine. I can say with conviction in my heart now that I just don't believe in God. I know God exists and that He loves me. I am his child - a daughter of God. I'm not afraid or embarrassed to say that I believe in Spirituality and that I can communicate spirit to spirit with Him. I love God. And he loves me.

Coming soon.... Number 3.... let's get physical....


tiburon said...

Love your thoughts on spirituality. I went through a lot of the same thinking at one point in my life.

Can't wait for Let's get physical!

tammy said...

Great post. I think we all have to figure it out for ourselves.